Guilt or grief . . . which one can you bear?

I am a lifelong student. Every day feels incomplete, unless I can say I've learned something new. I'm especially interested in trying to understand more about the inner workings of the human psyche. I keep notebooks and iPhone notes and journals and post its with dialogue, quotes, lessons, things to remember, things to think about, things to talk about, things to digest.

I'm that person who watches every true story serial killer doc. The past few years offered treasure troves: Black Bird, Dahmer, Conversations with a Killer, John Wayne Gacy, The Green River Killer, Night Stalker, and more.

Then there are other psych related shows I couldn't stop talking about: The Patient, 9 Perfect Strangers, and The Crowded Room.

Based off the title, I've asked friends and acquaintances to tell me what they think The Crowded Room might be about. Here are some of their guesses:

• A documentary about claustrophobia
• A game show 
• A dating show 
• An investigative piece about homelessness 
• A documentary about schizophrenia

"Created by Akiva Goldsman, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of A Beautiful Mind, The Crowded Room is inspired by the true story documented in Daniel Keyes’ 1981 non-fiction novel The Minds of Billy Milligan. Keyes’ book chronicles the life and trial of Milligan, the first defendant to ever be found not guilty due to dissociative identity disorder (previously called multiple personality disorder)."

Knowing that, WHAT AN INCREDIBLE TITLE, right? What made this show stand out to me, aside from following the mind(s) of someone with DID was how the show was laid out. We learn about the alter personalities in conversations with a therapist, but as viewers, we do not know which characters are alters until the end of the show. 

Things that stuck with me:

• The many ways unprocessed childhood trauma can show up when we're adults.
• Our minds are capable of going to incredible lengths to protect us.
• What comes across as 'abnormal' about some people's behavior, is typical for them. Reminds me of the saying: 'what's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
• "Guilt or grief . . . which one can you bear?"

Last thing to note. I also enjoyed the movie Split, which has a similar undertone of DID, albeit through an M. Night Shyamalan lens.

"The broken are the more evolved." -Split